My fiancé and I moments after we were engaged in January of 2020. Keep reading to see some of the lessons we've learned about planning a wedding.
My fiancé and I started planning our wedding in 2019, we were engaged in January of 2020, and our wedding is scheduled for October 2021. Within a few months of our engagement, we found ourselves quarantined at home together with our dog. A good portion of the spring and summer of 2020 consisted of planning for what came after our wedding… researching where we wanted to put down our roots. But the subject that consumed most of my thoughts was COVID. Our wedding was still so far away. We had most of it planned by the end of January 2020. We would be fine. Every couple of weeks, I would ask Justin, “what is our backup plan?” This was a question he avoided for a while and eventually, I convinced him to humor me and we hatched a backup plan we were sure we wouldn’t need. COVID Bride was a term that I saw everywhere in 2020. I knew that I didn’t fit into that box. I wasn’t planning a wedding for 2020. Our wedding would be fine. Regardless, COVID loomed differently over me than it did others. Every time the pandemic was mentioned, I projected to a vision of a wedding that didn’t include every person from my huge family. But our wedding was still more than a year away. It would be fine. The vaccines were making headlines by the fall of 2020 and things seemed promising.
Until February. Justin and I realized that our caterer never deposited the check that we sent more than a year earlier. This sent me into a panic. It was definitely on us that we didn’t catch it sooner but with no indication that it was received, I was sure that they would come back and tell us that they already booked another event that day and that they wouldn’t be able to accommodate a wedding of our size. The likelihood of this happening was high because so many people were postponing their weddings 1 year due to the pandemic.
After 3 long days, I heard back from them and was reassured that our wedding was, in fact, on their calendar.
A note: I began this blog post before my wedding and finished it several months after the wedding. Our wedding was impacted by the pandemic. Some of our closest friends and family members decided not to come because of the risks associated with the pandemic as we headed into another peak, this time from the Delta variant. While we had some stressful moments during the pandemic, the tips I'm sharing below are good for wedding planning beyond the pandemic.
Lesson #1: Request written confirmation after sending deposits if that isn’t part of your vendor’s workflow.
A few weeks later, we encountered another bump on the road to our wedding. Our florist canceled. They stated they would no longer be offering wedding services for 2021. This year was planning to be just as unpredictable as last year. I felt the struggles of every COVID bride before me. I was devastated when I got the email. We were splurging on our bouquets so that we could have some amazing ones and then doing the rest ourselves. I was so excited to have the perfect bouquet by these vendors. Their business practices were focused on sustainability, they cared about social justice and advocated for it throughout the chaos of 2020 and I was feeling great about having them on my vendor team.
Lesson #2: Make sure that your wedding vendors have backup plans if they cannot be there.
This is where I was blown away by our original florist. They offered us another option that honored our price. As wedding planning became more stressful, we ended up adding to our floral arrangements and we couldn't be happier with what our florist created for us.
Lesson #3: DIY and use friends when you can.
After the events with our caterer and our florist, I decided to reach out to our vendors and as I went through the list, I realized that we relied on friends and family for our wedding. One of our closest friends is our officiant. Two other friends are our DJs. We kept the costs low for floral arrangements by planning to do all of our centerpieces.
Lesson #4: Check in with your vendors on occasion.
I might have caught our issue with the caterer sooner if I had done this. And my gut told me that I should have. Luckily, it worked out but we shouldn’t have been so lucky.
Lesson #5: Communication with your vendors is so important.
When planning a wedding, you contact so many different photographers, caterers, venues, and florists. Pay attention to how quickly they respond to you when you are inquiring. Do they write you a personalized message? Do they attempt to make some kind of a connection with you?
Lesson #6: Be flexible.
Weddings are huge events. Given the scale of the event, things are bound to throw you a curveball from time to time. Decide on your non-negotiables and stick to those. The rest will work out and you’ll have a wonderful wedding regardless of what the planning process looked like.
